Funny outreach for email and LinkedIn, in your voice, about your product. Even if you're not the creative one.
Same product. Same brief. Two very different emails.
Quick question about workflow optimisation
Hi Sarah,
I hope this email finds you well! I wanted to reach out and touch base regarding your team's workflow optimisation needs.
Kettle is a game-changing platform that leverages AI to drive synergy across your revenue stack.
Would you be open to hopping on a quick 15-minute call this week?
Best regards,
Sam
is this thing on?
hey sarah,
two people on your team opened our pricing page on tuesday and then went completely quiet, so I'm choosing to believe you got trapped inside a spreadsheet
kettle updates your CRM off your inbox and calendar, so nobody has to log anything by hand. about four hours back per rep per week.
worth fifteen minutes this week? and a plain no is a completely fine answer, I'll leave you alone.
cheers
sam
Personalisation usually means a mail merge: one email with {{first_name}} dropped in. Here every row is written from scratch against that person's own trigger, so a hundred people get a hundred different jokes.
Straight out of a spreadsheet or a CSV. Commas, semicolons and tabs all work, and the columns get mapped for you.
Channel, play, goal, and a shared visual if you want one. Each row's own context column does the personalising.
A CSV with a finished subject and body per person, plus an HTML version. Import it into Instantly, Lemlist, Smartlead, Apollo or HubSpot.
Five run in parallel, so a hundred takes a couple of minutes. This writes and exports, it does not send: your sequencer already does that part well, and it keeps your deliverability and unsubscribes where they belong.
Hit the mic and just say who you're writing to and what you want. Ramble, restart, say “um” forty times. The filler gets stripped and what's left is sorted into the right fields.
Paste two emails you actually sent. It works out how you open, how you land a joke, whether you bother with capital letters, and writes everything that way from then on.
Organised by the beat you're hitting, crickets, gentle desperation, shameless bribery, not by keyword. Every draft arrives with the moment it needs already picked.
The Meme Lab drops your own face onto your own photo, or onto one of eight backdrops drawn from scratch, so you're never emailing a customer someone else's copyrighted meme.
Each one knows its own comedic strategy. A breakup email is not a launch announcement, and neither is a 2am apology.
It works out how you write.
Channel, play, goal, what you know.
Not one draft reworded three times.
Straight into Gmail with the image inline.
Funny outreach fails in predictable ways. These are baked in, not optional.
The joke never lands on the reader, their team, or the tool they picked.
Skip every gag and the message still says exactly one clear thing.
Two competing jokes cancel each other out. It picks one.
It only uses the proof you typed in. No fabricated numbers, no fake flattery.
No 'haha', no 'too soon?', no 'I know you get a hundred of these'.
Every chase gives them a dignified no. That's what gets replies.
Works with no API key at all, you just get template drafts instead of Claude ones.